Dangers that lie ahead

Course 102: Dangers of Antagonizing Men

Getting in a fight with men could be an enrichment exercise for your vocabulary. Tip them off and you’d be hearing colorful string of curses that contain more color than what your HP color inkjet printer gives you on paper. These golden epithets just get absorbed into your essence. Such a soul enriching experience.

The delicate and sensitive use of acoustics - music to our ears. The baritone combined with the pitch, intonation and intense emotion - strong and holy enough raise the dead from the dead.

Their excessive fondness for causing damage and making noise –charming. Smashing things, breaking (their own) bones, getting into fist fights – basically anything that involves a lot of sound – is their area of expertise. Once they go into the guerrilla mode of screaming and smashing there’s no heading back. Unless you are capable of calming a behemoth do not set off these volcanoes.

Finally, their interesting way of assaulting people on their birthdays is one big pain stimulating reason why you should never tick this gender off. Once they get down to their kick-ass methods, they make Christian Gray look like a saint.

Course 104: Dangers of Antagonizing Women

Statistical evidence proves that women carry vendetta even after their deaths. Pick up any horror movie, haunted story or exorcism scene, it will always be the lady ghost who’s out on a parole to make lives miserable. You’d only see male demons or coward male ghosts; that is if you ever see male ghosts.

I mean, if Marilin Monroe is still hanging around as a ghost what will the enraged women do. Not only will your life be endangered but also everybody’s around you. Well, Elvis is also grooving in death but then he’s a separate case.

It will always be lady ghosts that have the stamina to haunt people; till the end of eternity. That is a lot of effort. They will stalk you in the hallways, creep up behind you, throw and smash things around (because one lifetime was not enough), make you scream in the bath (you don’t want to know); and scream wherever they attack; as if they weren't scary enough already. Feel free to add more to this exotic list.

I don’t know what happens after death because of my inexperience in this matter but what if she’s out to make your life miserable even after your death? Nagging you for all eternity?

The bottom line is that there already many lady ghosts in this world – Delhi, Mumbai, Pune, you name it. Why are you hell bent on making another unparalleled contribution to this world? Let women live. A little sacrifice to make the world a happy place.